More Than Just a Memory
by MeridellKnight
Summary: Sequel to Love is like Roses. Jeran blames himself for the death of Rose. Is she more than just a memory? Complete.
1. After the War

Disclaimer: As much as I dream about it, obsess about it, and crave it, I don't own Neopets.

Jeran leaned back in his chair. He sighed and closed his eyes. Life was going well. Five years had passed without a single hint of war. The peaceful air of Meridell had enclosed him in a sheet of relaxation. Not laziness, he reminded himself, but it was nice to have a break from battle. That isn't to say that Hiasurn didn't cross his mind occasionally, but he was still quite contented with the flow of things.

For one thing, King Skarl had doubled his army. New scouts were employed. The infantry seemed to be full of eager young men longing to prove themselves.

One of the best privilages of this time was that he could spend more time with his little sister, Lisha. Even between the wars with Kass and his heir Hiasurn, there was little time for social intercourse. Never since they were children had they enjoyed so much freedom.

The only thing out of place was Danner. He had become so distant in the past years. When they occasionally brushed by each other in the castle, or perhaps, on the training field, Danner would just stalk past him without a word. His cheeks had become hollow and his fur lean. Jeran could have sworn he had seen him brush away a tear once or twice when he chanced to glance at the forest.

The Lupe glanced out of the window beside his desk. The woods were quiet and ominous, as always. His mind lingered to the graveyard. He hadn't been around to visit Rose's grave. He swallowed a lump in his throat. It wasn't that he didn't miss her...

Every time he came near the woods, he would feel like he was carrying the world on his shoulders. The painful memory of what happened that night still dwelled fresh in his mind. He knew it was his fault, no matter what he (or anyone else) told himself. He rummaged in his desk drawer for that familiar piece of parchment. He could feel it, cold and dry. Its words were stuck in his mind.

_"I was wondering if we could get to know each other...", "Hiesurn is going to kill you...", "I love you...". _

He shook the last words out of thought. She had loved him with an utmost passion. He had just returned her emotions as being passable and unimportant. Yet, she had died for him. Her death was a scar on his knighthood. He could have saved her...

She loved him, but he couldn't say he loved her...

He left his room. His thoughts were too closed up; he needed someplace where he could breathe. The cool night air seemed to have renewed him as he stepped outside. Closing the door behind him, he plodded towards the graveyard.


	2. Missing

Disclaimer: I do not own Neopets, as it is owned by Viacom. I also don't own "Missing" by Evanescence.

The chill wind make Jeran's fur stand on end.

_Strange,_ he thought to himself, _it wasn't this cold a few minutes ago..._

Shivering slightly, he headed into the thick of the forest. It was getting dark now, but he pressed on until he came to the graveyard. The same ominous feeling lurched in his stomach as he headed towards Rose's grave.

Hers was set apart from the others by a bit. Her grave was several yards from the rest of the tombstones. Danner had never told him why, though it was not for lack of asking. Jeran felt another twinge of guilt at the thought of Danner. He had torn apart their friendship, and it was not going to be easily mended... or so he thought.

"Jeran?"

Apparently, Jeran wasn't the only one paying regrets to the dead that night. He spun around to find none other than his Wocky friend, kneeling at his sister's grave.

"Danner? What happened?" Danner quickly moved his arm behind his back, and ignoring him, stood up and walked briskly past. Jeran placed a paw on his shoulder, halting him in his steps.

"Danner..." Jeran said softly, "What's the matter?" Danner said nothing, but turned around to face him. His brown eyes were leaking tears down his face and onto the wood floor. He turned crimson and looked down.

"Come." Jeran motioned to an overturned log a few feet from Rose's grave. "Let's talk."

Danner bit his lip, but reluctantly moved over towards Jeran. He turned away so Jeran couldn't see his face. An awkward silence followed.

"Danner, I-"

"You're going to tell me that I shouldn't have broken down like this," Danner said hurridly. "I'm a knight, not some sissy guy."

"Danner, I'm your friend. I'm not just your General."

"Yeah," He said, "So I guess you blame yourself for her death?" Not waiting for a response from his stunned friend, he added, "It was my responsibility. I was a fool for thinking I could go off to war and leave her back at out home village. Ever since our parents died, I swore to take care of her. I promised to give her everything she needed."

"Everything she needed," Jeran repeated quietly. "But what about the things she wanted, the things she didn't get, the things she died wishing for?"

Danner hung his head. "So," he muttered, "I guess we both a few regrets. But, Jeran," He turned to the Lupe, looking him in the eye, "It wasn't your fault." He shifted uncomfortably, then hastily added, "Hey, you didn't tell me why you were out here."

"You didn't either."

Danner blinked; dumbfounded.

Jeran grinned. "I'm glad you're back to normal, Dan."

He just turned away. "It's getting late. We had better go."

"You go on." He watched his friend walk away, head low, his hands in his pockets. He then turned to Rose's grave. The familiar inscription was worn and faded; the tombstone was cracked straight across the words _"Broken Inside"_. Jeran ran his paw over the words, trying to hold back his tears.

Then, he heard it. A mournful song was floating above the trees, the voice seemed to be in great agony.

_"Please, please forgive me,  
But I won't be home again.  
Maybe someday you'll look up,  
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:  
'Isn't something missing?'_

_You won't cry for my absence, I know  
You forgot me long ago.  
Am I that unimportant?  
Am I so insignificant?  
Isn't something missing?  
Isn't someone missing me?_

_Even though I'm the sacrifice,  
You won't try for me, not now.  
Though I'd die to know you love me,  
I'm all alone.  
Isn't someone missing me?"_

Jeran's fur stood on end. That voice was familiar... but it couldn't be. Scrambling to his feet, he hurried to follow the voice. It seemed to be wafting from that same grove that the battle had taken place years before in. He shook his head.

"No, it can't be... I'm imagining things..." Still he followed the voice..

_"And if I bleed, I'll bleed,  
Knowing you don't care.  
And if I sleep just to dream of you  
I'll wake without you there,  
Isn't something missing?  
Isn't something?"_

And, there, in the middle of the grove, was a white, misty figure in the shape of a Wocky. Her clothes were tattered and worn. Slowly, she turned to face him.


	3. Memories

**Disclaimer: I don't own Neopets, as much as I wish it. I don't own 'Haunted' by Evanescence either.**

"No."

The mysterious figure was gliding toward him, paw outstretched. Her eyes were dull white, as was the rest of her body. A tattered dress hung limp on her shoulders. It was covered in slivers of crimson.

Jeran turned away. He closed his eyes, staring into nothingness.

"You're not real."

_Long lost words whisper slowly to me..._

He blinked back tears. Mixed emotions were bubbling up inside of him. He didn't want to believe that she was alive. His mind must be playing tricks on him. She was dead, and nothing anyone could do could bring her back. If he would believe that she was alive, just for a fleeting moment, then his world would come crushing down as he slipped back into reality.

_Still can't find what keeps me here_

"I don't believe in you. I saw you die."

_When all this time I've been so hollow inside_

A draft set his fur on end. The back of his neck tingled, signaling that the spirit was right behind him. It must be just a trick of his mind…

"The Rose I knew died five years ago…"

_I know you're still there_

Still, the sensation refused to die away.

"Honestly! Let me alone. You cannot believe that I can be feeling remorse for your death. It was not my fault. You should not have been there that day. What could you have done? You just put yourself in more danger."

Something inside of him snapped. Resentment and pain was billowing out of his mouth before he could think twice.

"I never cared about you! You were just a hindrance to me. You were just a stupid teenager that I never had any emotions for whatsoever!"

He didn't care that he was uttering stupid lies. His pain and guilt had twisted into something unreal, and something sinister…

He could now feel a cold creeping up his back. The blood-stained paw creeped down his neck, and turning, stared into the eyes of Crystal. Her eyes leaked tears, spilling onto his shoulder, as a misty voice chanted...

_"Watching me, wanting me_

_  
I can feel you pull me down_

_  
Fearing you, loving you_

_  
I won't let you pull me down..."_

Suddenly the figure crumpled to the ground, clutching her shoulder. Blood gushed from the wound...

Jeran knelt down beside her. "Rose..." he said shakily, "What can I do to stop the bleeding?"

She stared back into his eyes. "I could have been your tourniquet."

"No," he whispered, taking her in his arms, "I will be your tourniquet."

In an instant, the figure vanished. Jeran blinked as he stood to his feet. Had he been dreaming? No.. He examined his paws. The blood was still there...

But how?

- - - - - - - -

_Author's Note: I'm really sorry for the short chapter and the long time I took updating. I will get the next chapter up hopefully by next week!_


	4. Destiny

**Disclaimer: I don't own Neopets, as much as I want to and obsess over it. I neither own 'Untitled' by Simple Plan.**

I open my eyes  
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light  
I can't remember how  
I can't remember why  
I'm lying here tonight...

The next morning, Jeran knelt at the feet of his sire, King Skarl. Skarl smiled and graciously extended a paw to him. "Jeran, I have a quest that I want for you and you only. I couldn't trust a squire with this, and I needed someone I knew personally." He smiled. Jeran forced a small smile back. Last night's events were still fresh in his mind.

I can't stand the pain  
I can't make it go away  
No, I can't stand the pain...

"So, do you think you could accept?"

"Yes, your majesty."

"Good." He placed a small bottle in Jeran's paw. "Take this to Siyana of Altador. She is expecting this to arrive, so you shouldn't face too much hassle. You would know her castle instantly by the towers that seem to flood light."

How could this happen to me?  
I made my mistakes  
I've got no where to run  
The night goes on  
As I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me?

"Are you all right?"

Jeran snapped back to attention. Skarl was looking into his eyes with unusual penetration.

"Fine. Just... fine."

Everybody's screaming  
I try to make a sound but no one hears me  
I'm slipping off the edge  
I'm hanging by a thread  
I wanna start this over again

The Lupe left immediately. There was no use in packing for the trip, he would probably only be gone a few hours. However, he set off well before dark to avoid any trouble. In its entirety, it wasn't a bad trip; he had arrived in a short while. Skarl was right. The towers and turrets of a particular castle seemed to flood light to passerby. Sure enough, a luminous figure in a glowing cloak awaited his entrance.

"Come," she baded him with a smile. He followed her across the splendid moat, and into the castle. It was truly magnificent. The ceiling seemed to open up into the sky and the portraits fairly glowed with light. He followed her yet further up a flight of stairs.

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered  
And I can't explain what happened  
And I can't erase the things that I've done  
No, I can't...

"Do you mind waiting for a response?" Jeran shook his head. The Faerie departed into an adajecent room. Jeran sighed. He wasn't acting himself, he knew he must pull himself together, and just focus on the task Skarl had assigned him. It was useless worrying about a dead teenager; he has to continue through life no matter how hard it would be.

That was when he felt it. The same, creepy feeling he felt in the cemetery the previous night. He turned his head toward another door. It seemed to emit the spooky feeling that he had wondered about... surely it would not hurt just taking a glance. But he was a knight, and he must respect the fortress of an ally...

_Come._

It could never have been more clearer. He creaked open the door and stared, shocked, around him.

The room was a huge hallway, filled with shelves on which rested little glass amulets. Closer inspection revealed the amulets were each fitted with a red stone, and each emitted the same spooky feeling. Jeran looked into the closest stone near him, and to his suprise saw a face of an old Eyrie looking up at him. He stared. Each one seemed to have a face inside if he looked deep enough.

_Here._

He turned and followed the feeling to an amulet in the middle of the next shelf. He looked into it, and started when he saw the face of his own Rose staring back at him.

The door shut. Jeran jumped.

"The Hall of Destiny," Siyana said confidently, as if that explained everything.

"Wha- What?"

"Yes, this is the place where I see you have found Rose."

"This is... this is really Rose?"

"No," the Light Faerie said sadly. "This is only an imprint of her soul. You see, the Hall of Destiny is where souls who died with regrets lie. Most souls have just gone on to the afterlife, but these certain ones have remorse, pain, or some sort of suffering cannot be filled."

"So... Rose can be brought back?"

Siyana sighed. "I wish is were that simple. Instead of continuing to the afterlife, these souls lie and haunt the ones who caused them pain in their life. They can never find peace until they have avenged whatever they seek. What is it that Rose wished to avenge?"

Jeran looked away. "She... she didn't... hate anybody. But a shallow old fool broke her heart, and that led... to her death."

"So, does that shallow old fool with to bring her back?"

"Is it at all possible?"

Siyana paused. "Have you ever heard of the Principle of Equivelent Exchange?"

"Yes, one of my sister's friends is an alchemist and I have heard of such things."

"Well, its principles also apply here too. She cannot come back unless something of equal exchange is to be given for even an imprint of her soul."

Jeran mused on this thought. What could he possibly give for a soul?


	5. Finale

The Sunblade. It was his only choice.

Jeran looked longingly at his sword. It had been both companion and fellow warrior throughout many years. The handle was worn through years of use. The blade, however, still gleamed in the shining light.

_Could I?_

_Should I?_

The Faerie smiled dimly. "Are you positive Jeran?"

- - - - - - - - - -

Crystal laughed as she chased her love throughout the hills of Meridell. Tripping on a particularly rough clump of grass, she was caught by Jeran. He smiled and looked into her eyes.

It had been a few months since the resurrection. Jeran had lost not only his blade, but his ability to fight. He had to resign from his position in the castle as general. Now he only trained young recruits with dreams and aspirations of becoming knights. A great loss?

"It was worth it over and over," he whispered softy as he kissed her lips.

**End.**


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